MY GIRL BEST FRIENDS

why couldn’t you just tell the truth?

passive aggressively lying to save face

passively aggressively lying to gaslight yourself, and then me

countless…endless…an infinite amount of times: BESTIE this! BESTIE that!

time and time again i fell for your sweet voice, and womanly qualities

qualities i admired! because what is a friendship without admiration?

you studied me, then you took the lessons as your own self-realizations

you studied me, then you used my own lessons against me

you studied me, then you went on a mission to gossip and turn them all against me

the cool girl,

the it girl,

the smart girl,

the sporty girl,

the intuitive girl,

the fashion girl,

the spiritual girl,

the family girl -

every single version of the girl i admired - every single version created a cold war

but i am made of fire, my friends, i do not understand cold wars

and once i lit your aggression to flames, once the smoke came,

suddenly i was the problem…and now everyone had a reason to believe the “gossip”

…but also trust, that it wont happen to me again

can women not be in competition with each other?

i still think, yes…

as long as they hold themselves accountable and tell themselves the truth