my story: yoga, business, and living life
PART 1: ALEGRE and LIVING LIFE
mami is a doer. because of her I am resourceful. a bold and courageous woman, through her efforts I was born a dual-citizen (something I consider an immense privileged). she flew from the dominican republic to the US about 36 hours after conceiving me, and flew back to the dominican republic from the US about 36 hours before delivering me. through mami I see my lineage - the one that connects me deeply to my roots, and to my island; negra, blanca, taina - the one that keeps me going back to that sense of “alegria”.
papi is a dreamer. because of him I am curious. a lover of knowledge, art, and culture - he is a storyteller (a dominican version of dad jokes). he tells me that when he met me for the first time I opened my eyes so widely that it gave him chills, he knew I would be a trailblazer. through papi I see my potential - the one that separates me from my limitations; fusion, mestiza, trigueña - where it's ok to be more than one thing.
I am 100% from bayaguana. founded in 1606! it is an agricultural town known for our olympians, churches, and rivers. my maternal side is from los hidalgos, and my paternal side is from el centro. I was raised with the town in my mind, body, soul, (and nonexistent money accounts but more on that in the next chapter). my early years were spent living with my grandmothers, switching from calle mella to calle euripedes sosa.
make no mistake, we come from poverty. mami was the poster image of what stunted potential looked like: balancing a water jug on her head, carrying it for miles every day so her household could have water. papi tells me stories of having to go to events barefoot, and how he was only allowed three pencils a year for school. but even through the scarcity and limitations, my parents broke a bunch of “generational curses” as the trendy kids like to say these days - I have VHS recordings of both my first and second birthdays in bayaguana. those early years taught me how to “LIVE LIFE” and by then I knew what I loved: movement, art, food & drink, knowledge, and adventure. I was the first born on both sides of the family, and I was very loved - my early memories in my farm and with my people can only be described as ALEGRE. I knew true joy - and little did I know I would slowly lose that joy until there was nothing left. until it was just me and God, until Yoga.
PART 2: SURVIVAL and BUSINESS
as soon as I immigrated to the united states, life got real. after short lived experiences in washington heights and the bronx, mami decided west new york, NJ was a *relatively* better place to raise a family. from the ages of 5-18 my life was about SURVIVING. by the age of 7 I developed a severe hyperhidrosis condition - I later realized through Yoga that I am very good at masking difficulties, and sweating was my body’s way to validate the horrible experiences I was living through - what I know now is that my nervous system was stuck fight or flight mode. I loved learning, but I was condemned to a school district that was more focused on: lowering the statistic of the highest teen pregnancy rate in the country, preventing students from bringing knives/alcohol/etc to school, and navigating the difficulties of trying to teach with very limited support and resources. I was also routinely sexually harassed, had to divert lots of fights (and even got into some physical ones) and developed lots of resentment for being forced to leave my island - so much so that I would cry for about 6 hours every single time we visited and had to return.
the only real escape I had was at nazareth baptist church, I met people who weren’t surviving, but thriving. people who spoke life into me and into my dreams. during this time period mami was sacrificing any form of self care and attention to herself, so that she could pay for my dance and piano lessons. she would beg me to focus, so that I could be free.
I promised myself that I would make it out.
till this day, I consider myself a dancer before anything else. dancing is what I love, its my true and raw talent. but I did not have the luxury of choosing dance as my career. I knew I had to go to a reputable college, I knew I had to get a full ride, and I knew getting out of west new york was imperative. so I applied to high tech high school, and then wharton. money was the source of my anxiety, so I decided to go learn money and BUSINESS from the school with the most amount of billionaires - one that would promise the financial stability I craved.
PART 3: RUNNING OF THE BULLS and YOGA
it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
when I did my wharton interview I was blessed, he was a trustee, a whartonite, and lived a couple of blocks away from me in the more affluent section of west new york. he asked me why wharton, and I explained (read my essay here), he told me it would be difficult for me, and I told him he didn't know what I was made of. he gave me a book to read about wharton: THE RUNNING OF THE BULLS, which explained how competitive the campus was. when I returned it to him, he wrote me a letter and gave me a gift: you have been the highlight of my interview experience he wrote, I know you will accomplish all of your dreams.
he wasn’t wrong. this chapter is triggering. it was all extremely difficult for me, and he knew what someone like me would go through at a place like UPENN…
rape. family betrayal. homicide. high functioning depression. substance abuse. workplace sexual harassment. obesity. grief. anger. court appearances. sadness. suicidal thoughts. confusion. lawsuits. intellectual property stolen. escape.
but i also wasn't wrong. this chapter is about the pressure that makes the diamond, I prayed for this lifestyle, and this was my path towards it…
philadelphia. ivy league. wharton. social entrepreneurship in emerging economies. strictly funk. lambda theta alpha. friars senior honor society. multiple study and work abroad projects. anheuser busch sales development program recruit. st.louis, MO; tulsa, OK; midtown, NYC. $250,000 a year. car paid in cash at 22. homeowner at 24. managing the western hemisphere for global brands. 35 countries by 25. multinational land owner.
I started practicing YOGA as a dance major in high school, and at the time I hated it. however, as I was moving around the country and traveling the world for work, yoga was the only constant. there was something special about combining movement with breath and spiritual topics. this is not the chapter where I was able to fully step into my yoga, but it is the chapter where I recognized that I was running in the wrong direction. the good news was that I went a long way, the bad news was that I went the wrong way.
PART 4: YOGA SUTRA 1.2
by the age of 28 my suffering had caused me to do over 1,000hrs of yoga teacher training. I had also quit every single job I had, very prestigious roles at that. it was difficult navigating the duality of life - no one around me could understand why I wasn't fulfilled - I had it all!
the truth was that something was off, and I knew I didn't feel like myself. but I had also forgotten who I was. what I liked. I had forgotten how to live life. yoga philosophy helped me understand why I suffered so much - but now it was time to practice with a new intention. it was time to practice with the intention of creating the most authentic version of myself. I realized that yes, my unhappiness had a lot to do with the experiences I had lived through; but it also had a lot to do with the fact that I was not living my purpose. I stopped dancing, I stopped creating, I stopped using food and drink as a source of nutrition and more as a source of escape, I stopped learning new things, and I stopped going on adventures. I was living in a shell of trauma and fear. I thought: what does it mean to have a healthy and regulated nervous system? what does that version of me look like?
I never intended to teach. in fact, as a choreographer it was clear to me that I was not very good at explaining or translating my movements. but once my practice evolved from the philosophical to actually *living* again, I shifted focus and started working on developing the skills I needed to be a teacher I myself can respect.
yoga sutra 1.2 = yogash chitta vritti nirodah = yoga is the stilling of the fluctuations of the mind, so that one can experience life as reality.
PART 5: THRIVE MI NIÑA LINDA
I now know that it is my mission to empower humans to dream + do things. with yoga you have the tools to dream, with business you have the tools to do. I fully believe that if you have a dream in your heart, it was put there for a reason, and we are going to figure out how to get there, together.
I am alegre.
because of my story, I have experiences; but because of me, I have alchemized each experience - turning it into organized chaos, into art. I will continue to do so and I will continue to “live life”. I hope you join me for the ride.